How Would Life Get Better If You Put Just One Soul Desire First?
The sun is a good metaphor for we humans. It continually creates energy for us by essentially destroying itself day after day, millennium after millennium without complaint. We are imbued with that same generous impulse to give – the destruction part is optional. “All life, all of nature, all earthly systems, are based on closed cycles of receiving and giving, save only that gift of energy which comes from the sun. There can be no life whatever without balanced cycles of giving and receiving.” Dee Hock
We’re told women are natural givers. In actuality, every form of life is designed to give a certain gift: A flower emits a fragrance and its blooms; trees produce fruit; pets give us unconditional love; a bird sings its song. You also have gifts, unique as your fingerprint, that are yearning to get out. But the idea of giving one more thing when our well is dangerously low can bring out our inner-victim or worse, it’s alter ego, Ms.Entitlement.
Fay, a friend and colleague, offers a workshop for new mothers called, “When Mom’s Happy, Everybody’s Happy”. She asks the new moms to list their top three priorities. Almost always there is a glaring omission – themselves. Our culture teaches us that ‘it is better to give than to receive’ and that receiving is a passive, weaker position. Quite the reverse is true. It takes an activist mentality to go against the culture’s message of unrelenting productivity, and make time for what is vital to our equilibrium.
The difference between the words compliant and complaint are just a few jumbled letters. The next time you feel a compliant “yes” passing your lips, take pause and check-in with Divine headquarters. How often have you said yes, given your time and energy, and later resented it? If this is a familiar complaint, the next time you feel one coming on, let that be the perfect cue to pay attention to where you need to receive.
And don’t be fooled. The toxic mimic to ‘soul food’ may look like an extended stay in front of the TV with your trusted friends, Ben & Jerry. Not that some veg time isn’t sometimes the perfect antidote to our crazed lives. But no amount of food, drink or reruns of “Sex & The City” can give you what your soul really hungers for. Your soul is not a tough customer. Reconnecting with your soul can be as easy as reading a poem, taking a fifteen-minute “time-out” to daydream, writing uncensored in a journal or taking a walk in the rain.
My friend, Jill is an extremely generous woman. A survivor of breast cancer, a sought-after speaker, daughter to an elderly parent, a mom and wife, she still finds time for other women who are struggling with a recent diagnosis, a relationship issue or just a day gone amuck. She wondered, “Why am I sometimes so angry?” She noticed that over the simplest of requests she would suddenly snap and out would pop her evil twin. When she shared this with her shrink she was told that she had gone too long “borrowing from her soul” and that her “divine child” was here to collect the bill. Her therapist said, “Try to appreciate the anger, it can make room for your soul to breathe again.” In fact, Jill is noticing that as she gives herself permission to feel her ancient and sometimes scary waves of rage, she is also discovering bottomless vats of love for her family and community.
The soul peaks into our lives through the cracks and crevices. When you make room for your soul’s needs, be they as simple as getting enough sleep, giving time to your creative self, or having a heart-to-heart with a girlfriend who really listens, you connect to your power source and fill up.
What would be possible if your needs were truly met? Who would you become if you put your soul desires first? What is one basic need that you could fill right now that in the receiving of it would put a smile on your face?
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